Finding Direction And Flow: A Guide For Women

Why purpose disappears – and how it quietly returns

In this article you will learn:

• Why many women lose direction in mid-life

• How disconnection from interests creates the ‘ick’

• What ‘flow’ really is – and why it matters more than goals

• Why career clarity rarely comes from resumes or job searching

• How to begin reconnecting with meaning without forcing answers

Introduction: Remember When You Felt ‘On Point’?

Have you ever had a time in your life when you felt aligned?

You knew who you were.
You knew what mattered.
You moved through life with a sense of direction and ease.

For me, it was music – hours lost composing, listening, creating. It was also gymnastics – strength, flight, landing solidly in my body.

As I got older, practicality took over. Career, money, responsibility. The things that once lit me up were quietly labelled ‘unviable’.

And slowly, something crept in.

The ‘ick’.

Loss of direction in mid-life is rarely sudden – it is the accumulation of choices made without room for the self.

The ‘Ick’ and What It Really Signals

The ‘ick’ isn’t laziness or failure.

It’s that hollow feeling of:

• going through the motions

• paying bills without meaning

• hoping tomorrow feels different

For many women, this shows up as anxiety, low mood, burnout, distraction, or imposter syndrome. Sometimes even physical illness.

When women lose connection to what engages them, the body and mind eventually protest.

I see this again and again with clients – women who arrive not because they want a new resume, but because they feel rudderless.

Why Career Fixes Don’t Work Without Direction

This is where traditional career advice often fails.

Writing a new resume, changing jobs, or setting goals does very little if you don’t know what you’re moving toward.

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described this directionless state as ‘psychic entropy’ – a condition where attention fragments, rumination increases, and purpose drains away.

Without direction, effort becomes exhausting and progress feels impossible.

What Flow Really Is – and Why It Matters

Flow is not hustle or productivity.

It’s the experience of being absorbed, engaged, and alive in what you’re doing. Time passes differently. Effort feels meaningful.

What creates flow is different for every woman – but reconnecting with it is essential.

Flow restores orientation when clarity feels out of reach.

This is why I often begin career counselling conversations not with job titles, but with interests, curiosity, and energy.

Stop Looking Back for Answers

When women feel lost, they often turn inward with blame.

What did I do wrong?
Why did I choose this?
How did I end up here?

The problem is – those questions rarely liberate.

Mid-life is not asking women to solve the past – it is asking them to reorient toward the future.

Learning matters. Rumination does not.

Reconnecting With Direction Gently

Direction doesn’t arrive fully formed.

It emerges through:

• curiosity

• play

• experimentation

• small steps that feel alive

You don’t need the whole picture. You need a next step.

Three Ways to Begin Finding Flow Again

Rather than ‘fixing’ your career, consider this:

• Revisit interests you shelved because they felt impractical, scary, or exposed you to judgement. Are they still alive?

• Explore through experience – shadowing, volunteering, small projects. Test, don’t commit.

• Use relationships and networks to learn, not to impress. Passion invites connection.

For some women, this leads to a shift within their current role.
For others, it becomes a side project, portfolio career, or new direction entirely.

And sometimes – you won’t even need a new resume.

Why Goals Alone Don’t Create Meaning

Happiness and purpose are not created by chasing outcomes.

They emerge when life is reverse engineered around:

• meaning

• interest

• capacity

• values

This is why I work with a framework focused on direction rather than rigid goals – orienting toward what’s possible and what you love, even when life is complex.

Purpose is not found by force – it is cultivated through alignment. It’s why I developed my SOUL goals framework.

The Invitation

Consider these gently:

• Where does your attention naturally go when no one is watching?

• What activities give you a sense of absorption or ease?

• Could your next step live inside your current life – rather than replacing it?

Direction comes from connection.
Income comes from skills and experience.
Purpose lives where meaning and money meet – in a way that fits your life.

You may feel too busy to think about this.

That is often the clearest sign that you need to.

Sometimes the next step appears only after you put down what no longer serves you.